My little girl says she still believes in the magic of Santa. The wonder of the season shines back at me from her eyes and makes me smile. But there is a hint of uncertainty there too. She desperately wants to continue believing but I see her faltering. And that breaks my heart. Most of her classmates don’t believe in Santa. They tell her he is a fake. She just says they are “non-believers”. I feel bad for them. They have lost the innocence of childhood. They have lost the magic!
The one thing she wants, Santa can’t bring her. The one thing she wants I can’t buy for her. She wants her Pop to come back. She always looks for signs from him that he is still with her. Every Christmas, since he passed away in the Summer of 2013, my little one has written to Santa asking him to intervene for her by getting a message to her Pop either by direct delivery or through Santa’s relationship with God. She always asks for a sign that her Pop is still with her.
This Christmas, like the others, she wrote to Santa, again asking for a sign but, according to her, it can’t be just any sign but one “so ridiculous it’s like Pop came down to Earth and put it there himself…”.
I don’t remember a time when I didn’t believe in Santa. I still put up my stocking and every Christmas morning “magically” it is filled with assorted goodies. Our first Christmas without my husband (her Pop) was difficult but we believed. We had faith in the jolly old elf in the red suit. We got through that holiday and every day after that. If you don’t believe in Santa, then what is left?
I know Christmas morning there will be some tears but there will also be hugs and kisses and happy memories. But a sign from Pop? Well that is up to my girl to figure out. She needs to realize she has the magic within her. All she needs to do is believe!